Realities Of A Stay At Home Mom

There is this new..er country song that states "all you need is love". It talks about living in a van and such... and how that would be OK b/c "all you need is love".  Call me unromantic or a pessimist or self-centered or whatever, but this saying has never settled well with me. Maybe I just can't grasp the concept of "only" needing love, maybe I've never loved another enough that I feel like I could survive off of that alone or maybe I'm reading too much into the saying...

However, just recently I learned to love deeper than I ever have. I know we all have an intense love for our children. It's immeasurable. It's true too, that it multiplies with each child, and love for one child in no way takes from the love of the other child. But this deeper love that I've been feeling, has everything to do with my husband. I married him because he was perfect. With all of my heart I truly believed he was perfect, at least for me. For years I've held him to this same standard in which I found him...perfection. He was never allowed to say the "wrong" thing, look at me cross, or heaven forbid he have a "bad day" without me having a freak out on him (this is not the part for you to say "awww poor Matt", really he has got it good) I mean why would he do those things if he were perfect? I know laugh it up, but it's true. For our whole marriage this expectation in my brain, that I made up all on my own has caused me so much trouble. Logically I knew that he wasn't perfect, but I never connected my heart and my head...until I just did one day. I had the most amazing thought..."wouldn't it be amazing if I had as much compassion for him as I do for the lonely guy I see on the street begging for money, or the guy I pass in the store that looks like he has no pride at all? If I could love him in his weakest moments and listen to what he is really saying when I see frustration in his eyes?" Since having that thought, I got my opportunity, probably an answer to my prayers to show a Christlike love toward him. A true opportunity to understand the beauty of humility and compassion for the one person I do love more than life. It's a little embarrassing to me that for all this time I could treat a complete stranger with more empathy than I did my own husband, but I'm so grateful I finally came into this moment. Life is so so so much easier when we allow those we love to make mistakes.

So you may ask "Sunny do you now believe all you need is love"?  And I would say....."Nope, I still need the man to bring a paycheck home so that I can get my hair and nails done, buy a new purse and also some cute shoes." I mean really? It takes more than love;)