So, I had something interesting happen to me yesterday afternoon...
I'm not gonna lie...it angered me...
Quite a bit...
Then it hurt my feelings...
Quite a bit...
So here is what happened...
We (honeyman and I) give a lady and her son a ride to school every day...
Honeyman picks her son up in the AM...
And I go and pick her up in the PM to get the boys (my son and her son) from school...
We've been doing this every day since sometime last year...
Not a big...
Really, it's not...
We don't mind...
However...
A few weeks ago we got into the conversation of my cousin serving a mission for our Church...
Those of you that are not of our faith, that's totally cool...
Our young men serve a 2 year mission when they are 19...
So anyways, that was the conversation we got on...and that he speaks Spanish because he is serving in Argentina...
I had mentioned that I wanted to send him a letter in Spanish because I thought it would be fun!
So she offered to translate a letter for me!
I thought that was a fabulous idea! I was so excited...
I wrote the letter...
Just about our lives...
The kids...
The kid that is on the way... =)
And as most LDS members that I know, I ended on a spiritual note...
Telling him that I was grateful he was doing the Lord's work and how fortunate we were to have the Gospel...
I gave it to her on Thursday...
Friday she told me I didn't need to pick her son up...
First time ever!
Didn't see her till Monday...
(yesterday)
She told me that she couldn't translate the letter for me because our beliefs were different...
That was it...
No other explanation...
All I said was, "Okay, I understand"...
I didn't...
When I got home I was really upset...
Those that are my FB friends already know that...
I was upset because I've never asked for anything from her...
And the only time I did...she technically offered...ask, she tells me no because of my beliefs...
For those of you that know me...you know I don't do things for praise...
I'm actually one of those really-genuine-to-a-fault-do-it-because-it-makes-me-feel-good-inside kinda person...
Then I was sad...
My feelings were totally hurt...
Hurt because I can't remember a time that someone wouldn't do something for me because of my beliefs...
I've certainly never treated anyone like that...
So this happening to me really made me sad...
I cried...
But I'm pregnant...
So I cry over everything...
Then to make things even more interesting...
This morning when my honeyman went to pick her son up they were getting ready to walk to school...
The little boy said a couple of times that they didn't think we were coming to get them...
That made me even more sad...
Why would she think we wouldn't give them rides anymore?
So, ladies...
What would you do?
I've been thinking about telling her that she hurt my feelings...
But what good would that do?
I've been thinking about asking her if my faith bothers her so much...so much that she can't translate a letter for me that is going to my cousin, why doesn't it bother her enough to where she wouldn't want to ride in our car everyday...
But what good would that do?
I've been thinking about telling her that I listen and help her out...I don't ask her not to speak of her beliefs in my car...or tell her that I won't drive her to the next town over to put fliers up for her church...
But what good would that do?
I've been thinking about telling her that I've never pushed my beliefs on her and have never been anything but sweet to them...
But what good would that do?
Any of your comments would really help right now...
I'd love to know how you would handle this...
Till next week...
Jazz, first of all, BUMMER this happened. And so immature, in my opinion. At the same time, I think you should keep doing what you have been doing: be a Christ-like friend and example to her. I know how frustrated you must feel, but I think you should just keep on being amazing you. I think if I were you I would also find the right moment to kindly ask what offended her about your beliefs, so you can help clarify. Try to keep the channels of communication open. You're awesome! P.S. SOOOOOOOOOOOO exciting about Reece #3, by the way!
ReplyDeleteIs this the same lady that you were talking about last year? Single mom? Just wondering if the stories were related. Anyway, for real that would make me feel all those same feelings...anger, confusion, sad. Ugh you know my policy, straight up honesty. It's so hard but Jaz I would talk to her about it especially if you feel there is a misunderstanding and if you are going to continue to help her out. Don't be taken advantage of. Let her know how it makes you feel not in a crazy wacked out pregnant lady way, but in a i wanna understand kind of way. Let us know what you decide. And thanks for your good example...i would have never offered her a ride in the first place;)
ReplyDeleteWow - that IS tough. My first thought is to keep setting such a great example of service, showing Christ-like attributes. Turn the other cheek but not letting her beat up on you. By continuing to show friendship, you will demonstrate that friendship and service is not based on having to believe the same things. I also agree with Sunny to be honest and that by finding out what she disagreed with, you might be able to clarify some misperceptions. But personally, I couldn't bring it up; I'd wait until she brought it up (probably when you show up to do school pickup) and then that will open the conversation. As always, use the Spirit.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Hi--I'm a friend of Charlotte's who saw this in my blog feed. I'm sorry to read about what happened. You are much more generous than I think I would be by virtue of just offering rides everyday. I am not LDS but have many LDS friends who I respect.
ReplyDeleteI think there are misconceptions about the LDS community from the outside, and that it is likely (though unfortunate) that this woman feels that by translating this note, she might be betraying her own faith community or beliefs, as it's often the case that the LDS church is labeled a "cult" by Christians who want to dismiss your faith with a broad stroke. Her refusal would be similar to how you might feel if she asked you over for tea against the Word of Wisdom--you wouldn't partake, because it's something you cannot stand for.
My intention is not to defend her (I think far too many "Christian" churches are hostile toward people who are different--LDS, Catholic/Protestant, gay), but I think it would be helpful to talk about your feelings and to seek to understand what has molded her perspective of the LDS faith, and then to have an open dialogue about this. I can see how hurt you must feel, and would feel the same way in your shoes, but I would wager her actions are not personal but out of allegiance to her own faith. Good luck!
Thank you all for your comments. They have definitely calmed my heart down and helped me to maybe understand her more.
ReplyDeleteWendy, I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I had never looked at it like that before and I'm so grateful that you helped me see it that way. I hope to maybe clear up some misunderstandings that she may have about the LDS religion...
This is the conclusion I've come to when it comes to being a member of the Church...My actions will speak much louder than their ((their as in others that may be giving her false information)) words...